This weekend marked our 5 year anniversary. In some ways, it feels like such a short time. The whirlwind of the past few years and all of our adventures have made it fly by – lots of vacations, fur babies, new projects, investment ventures, grad school. But at the same time, I can hardly remember what my life was like without this amazing human navigating it with me.
But marriage has also been wholly unexpected in the ways it has challenged and changed me.
I like to fancy that there is nothing in life I can’t do on my own if I set my mind to it. Playing the independent overachiever is my M.O., and there have been few life obstacles that I was either unprepared for or couldn’t overcome (enter, privilege). Then, enter, marriage. Even with the best marriage advice, I was unprepared for the challenges we would face. There’s nothing that brings up long-buried baggage and scars like sharing every aspect of your life with another imperfect human. While the lessons have been hard, there has been grace like I’ve never experienced. I’ve learned that asking for help doesn’t lessen my independence or show weakness. That reaching out instead of struggling alone is the hardest, but healthiest, choice when facing a crisis. That despite your best efforts, you can’t control what life brings, and you’ll need your spouse’s grace and forgiveness. And that being vulnerable is an absolute requirement for building real, healthy community (shout out to Brene Brown).
Life is messy. And more than anything, marriage has taught me that it takes commitment and community to make it through. Find your tribe, be vulnerable with them in your struggle, and love them hard. Thank you to my wonderful husband for being part of the journey that’s brought me a more fulfilling community and life than I ever imagined. Cheers to the next half decade!